Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Quilt Police


Despite my best efforts, I cannot figure why my OWN photos will not co-operate. You're going to have to use your imagination. This gal on the left looks a lot better than my subject matter.

During the recent Convention I attended, the QUILT POLICE actually showed up! Yes, one, at least, does in fact, really exist!

She showed up, black shirt, with words Quilt Police across the shoulders, black slacks, and black boots. (There was the scrap of fabric stuck to her boot ala toilet paper!) huh??? She looked and talked stern!

She had official-looking emblems on her shoulders and front pocket.

She had threads on her shirt -- she might be a part-time quilter? She wore a jewelers headpiece so she could see quilts really close up. She wore one white glove.

She wore a whistle around her neck, a quilters ruler in her front pocket, and a long tape measure dragged along behind her. She carried a clipboard, labeled "Property of Quilt Police" and was writing tickets for infractions of ??? Payment was probably in FQs, but then I didn't get any citations!

She wore a real leather belt and holster, but in her holster, she had a giant magnifying glass, and she could whip it out like a gun, check quilts close up, flip it in the air, and catch it! She had a flashlight on that belt for closeup inspections! And she carried a large T-square to check quilt corners, but if you didn't pay attention to her, she thunked you on the butt!

Some participants of the Convention were very serious and cooperated fully, some ran the other way when they saw this Quilt Police coming their way, some laughed and went along with the guise, and one lady, shrunk in horror and FEAR when the Quilt Police ordered her to "come with me", and she responded "No, I can't go with you", until she realized the Quilt Police was guiding her to Freebies!

So, all of you, do your best work on your quilts, because the Quilt Police DO exist, at least out here in Western Nebraska!

15 comments:

Catherine said...

What was the proportion of those who laughed to those who took it seriously? I'm afraid I would have been laughing until the tears came!

dot said...

Oh my goodness. I hope she stays there in Nebraska. Can't you loose her in a few corn feilds?

Owens Family Adventures said...

I was all ready to get angry and upset that someone dared say anything disparaging about OUR ELAINE!!! then I laughed. hahahahahaha Crisis averted! :)
I would have laughed along as well.
dawn

julieQ said...

Haha!!! Love it! I bet she had such a really great time in this role.

Sharon said...

What a great story! I loved it! Hee hee!

Joyce said...

I'd be one of those who turn and run! Lol.

Morah said...

OMG TOO FUNNY!

Gail said...

Hilarious!

Karen (Misiz C) said...

Oh Elaine... thanks for the chuckle. How funny!

Nanette Merrill and daughters said...

Elaine that is the funniest story. I absolutely hooted with laughter. I'm always afraid of the unofficial quilt police but this one sounds like a fun spoof. I have to tell my quilt group about this.

Sweet P said...

How funny! What a great addition to Convention life.

Janet said...

Oh, what fun! Janet

Lynne in Hawaii said...

What a hoot! Thanks for sharing.

Tanya said...

I would have loved to have seen that! We all need a little humor in our lives and I admire people who can bring a laugh to other people's faces! I'm afraid I'm all too serious.

materialjunkie said...

That is the funniest story..You told it so well I could envision all that going on. Hilarious!!