Thursday, April 02, 2009

Wretched Technology


THE BEAST – my enemy. My throat is constricting even as I look at you. My blood pressure is going up. You and I don’t communicate with each other – the words on your ugly body are unreadable without my occasionally-needed magnifying glass I keep near my sitting corner. When I look at you, I am filled with hate and loathing. When you refused to understand what I requested, I tried to murder you – I threw you across the room – your innards were left strewn under the dining room table, but you didn’t die. A sympathetic resident of my house put all your nasty parts back inside the proper places in your horrid little body.

Dear XXXXX (fill in the blank):

For a while, we noticed the old TV acting peculiar ... my greatest fear was not that the TV was nearing the end of it’s life, the big fear was ... the new Remote Control that comes with the new TV!

It took me 5 years to get used to the old remote control and 2 ½ of those years to get adjusted to a new VCR/DVD player. And, it was a major mental adjustment to figure how to switch to the Public TV station. When I finally figured out how do maneuver it’s intricacies, it was too late – the TV died !!! – buy a new one – out with the old, in with the new. Let’s keep throwing away everything – nothing should be ... [silly me!] ... repaired!

I am not a fool, my IQ is respectable, am knowledgeable and skilled in the use of numerous computer programs, have owned and installed a number of computers over the last 25 years, have a college education, am usually and currently currently employed, have worked in the fields of Engineering, Architecture, and Nuclear, have dabbled in computer languages. So, why are my needs ignored by Technology Industry? I am officially a Senior Citizen, but ... am I dead? Do I not spend my paycheck on useful items? What’s wrong here?

Do I ask for help from the TV manufacturer? Fat chance - they have planned their own non-identity. Do I ask for help from the TV Salesperson? – I tried - they don’t know – they just sell the equipment – or from the delivery guys? – the guys with muscles and butt cracks showing? or from my Satellite dish folks? or do I just complain to anyone out there in Blogland? I should just give up TV – that might be a GOOOOOD solution – but I still want to re-watch all my carefully recorded video Quilt Show programs, and VCRs/DVDs and Public TV.

Do I need this agitation and distress? Do I want this issue to cause discord between my spouse and me – he has no better solutions and much less patience! Originally, I was unable to even turn it on. I am left with the feeling that I must be stupid, I must have a mental handicap, I must be mentally challenged, too old, brain deficient. Should I just go back to bed and wait for the Grim Reaper?

Sincerely,

Elaine Adair

cc: AARP
cc: Furniture company who sold me the TV
cc: Satellite dish company
cc: Local cable company in case I want to switch from satellite back to cable.
cc: Mom

P.S. I wrote this some time ago, and was so distressed that I couldn’t post it at the time. Things have since settled down, and I have solved this particular problem. And do you know who gave me the answers? Yep, a quilter!

P.P.S. My VCR/DVD player is now eating my tapes. Time for another dreaded piece of equipment! This may be the last straw!

15 comments:

Exuberant Color said...

This sounds like the day I tried to turn off the radio on a boom box in the repair area of the store before I left. I couldn't find the power button. I finally just turned the volume down low and left. I asked somebody the next week and he said, oh, just turn it to CD and that will turn the radio off. WHAT????

Quiltin' LibraryLady said...

You're a member in good standing of the "I hate getting new electronics" club. Just when a person has something mastered it's time to get something new & start all over again. Look at it this way -- learning new things keeps your brain active & Alzheimers at bay. Of course, the effect on your blood pressure is another issue!!LOL

Nancy said...

It is no wonder our landfills are full. It costs more to repair an item than a to replace it with a new one.

Several weeks ago, the national news had a piece on shoe repair businesses being really busy in this recession. I couldn't believe the number of people interviewed that didn't realize they could actually have shoes (**gasp**) repaired. What an archaic concept!

Happy Cottage Quilter said...

Well you have to do what I do..... ask an 8 year old!!

Joyce said...

I hear you. You need a teenager in the house. Well, you probably don't really need one but they do come in handy once in awhile. Lol. I just borrow my grandchildren.

KCQuilter said...

And they say technology is supposed to make our lives easier!!!!!!!

goodworks1 said...

"My VCR/DVD player is now eating my tapes."

I've got this problem also. Do you mean to tell me it can't be fixed???

I was just starting to learn how to use the TV with the VCR player and the DVD player and now I also have to learn to use the new digital adapter. I have literally stopped watching anything on that box.

I totally sympathize with your post....

Elaine

Lindah said...

aaarrrrgh! We speak the same language!

Lori in South Dakota said...

(LAUGHTER)I call my son in law--he installs tv/phones/internet service. And its so DEPRESSING to watch him do things so quickly! This weekend I watched him stand behind DD and fix their laptop in less than 30 seconds. sigh Can I move them closer??

LC said...

I agree... with your frustration, and with the advice to ask an 8-year-old. This has to be one of the biggest reasons God created grandchildren!!

What gets me is that we have a HD TV, with a Bose sound box and a hard drive to record on and there are four remotes with all of this. My husband (who is not 8) finally went online, went through the step-by-steps and programed one of them to do everything. But you have to do it right or it messes up. Others would sometimes grab the wrong remote and do just that, so we finally hid the other three.

Sigh,machines are out to rule the world.

Anonymous said...

We have 5 remotes (recently added Roku to our Netflix sub) and each one does something different....DH has them all programmed and when I punch the wrong button he says, "Well, it's not ROCKET SCIENCE!" Oh yeah?? Give me the old On/Off!

CJ said...

I hear you!!! Sing it out! I knew how to work our last system, now we have about 5 remote controls, a theater system, the computer is now involved, XBox is part of it and I have NO IDEA how to play anything! AND we dont' even get TV! We can watch things we have recorded, instant play Netflix, our own DVDs but alas,only if one of the guys is home. :S

Tanya said...

You are so funny! Yes, I stick to the 5 channel buttons on my remote, and the off and on. Ocassionally I will attempt a volume change. But the 20 other buttons that tell me to go mute, change languages, give me program guidance, jump to simultaneous weather programing, sports programing, latest updates, etc. etc. I ignore with a vengence! On top of that, I don't even know how to turn the TV off if I misplace the remote! There must be a hidden button somewhere...

Lynn Dykstra said...

Hi Elaine,
I have a vivid memory of my grandmother when we went from operator assisted to the dial telephone. She just sat there looking bewildered by the whole concept.
Often I am faced with what I call my own "dial phone" bewilderment. But, Grandma figured it out and I guess I can too.

MARCIE said...

Have I told you lately that I love you? I guess not, because it has been a while since I was here at your blog. You truly crack me up!